PROVOKED

Hello guys! Again!

Have you ever been in a state where you saw a thing and then you wanted to have it right away? I do. And actually, that happened a lot in my life. So I have this part, or folder, or whatever it is in my brain, full of things that I wanna do and I wanna be and I wanna have. Right away. But life is hard violets are blue, yeah you’ll never know what that means. Because I don’t.

Oh well.

I watched Grey's Anatomy and I wanted to be a surgeon.

I wanna stay up late in an OR doing surgery all night long. I wanna be busy in a trauma room all day long.  I wanna meet Derek and Avery and other cute doctors. And even though I already entered college, everytime I watched this, I still want to be a surgeon.

I watched Dexter and I wanted to be a be a police.

Actually Debra, the girl with the black uniform is my favorite character. She is not the main character because of course Dexter must be the one. But what I love from her, simply because she is so messed up and still manage to do her job as well as her dad, and even better.

I went to IKEA and I promised myself that someday I gotta make a business like this.

I really love to draw and decorate and design something and that’s why when I was about to graduate high school, I really wanted to take product design. I went to UPH – Universitas Pelita Harapan that day for a campus tour, and UPH has a Product Design Major. There is a gallery showing all the furnitures and shoes and other products the students there have made. And I was dying to take that major, that day…

I saw street cafes in movies, and I wanted to open one.

I want to build cool cafe on the street, with my own simple recipes ( I actually don’t cook very much ). But I actually love to cook, but I don’t think I am good at it, since I don’t really know some spices or food stuffs names. My cafe has to have a uber cool canopy, and with a blackboard! There’s gotta be a blackboard!

Once I heard that Amancio Ortega is the second wealthiest man in fashion industry, my dead dreams in making my own clothing line suddenly breath again.

I mean how cool it could be, to set the trend with our updates every season and if people love our designs. And as crazy as it sounds, Amancio Ortega, the Zara International Owner, is the second wealthiest man after the head of LVMH .

I always want to be rich by doing jobs that I love, so the hard part could past easily because we simply enjoy what we do. I hope you guys agree. Cheers!

PEOPLE TODAY : KAYA SCODELARIO

Hello guys! Does the name Kaya Scodelario is familiar to you guys?

Rhetorical question alert. Still gonna continue writing a little review about her anyway.

I knew Kaya Scodelario from the British TV show SKINS, as Effy Stonem. And ever since I watched SKINS, I had a woman crush on her. And I probably still do have a woman crush on her. Whatever.

I always adore a girl ( not that anyone cares, or maybe you should ) who can have a very innocent face with a natural make up, but yet can be a freaking rad wild girl once she put on an thick eyeliner. And this is the major reason why I love Kaya Scodelario, above all else.

Here’s the natural pretty innocent side of her.

And here’s the other side of her.

And she can pull off both look flawlessly.

A girl next door that everyone think she is a good girl : ✓

An uber cool kid who spend most of her time drinking and smoking weeds : ✓

And you will love her as much as I do because from many of her interviews I saw on youtube, she is so kind and funny and down to earth and maaaan I love everything she does.

Her twitter : @kayascollywogs

BYE <3

Freedom & Its Misinterpretation

Here are some logic thoughts :

1. People do drugs : freedom.

People ( drunken and high ) killed a person : crime.

2. Spoiled brat always have anything she wants : freedom.

Spoiled brat beat her own parents : surprise! surprise!

3. Uncle Ben smoke cigars : freedom.

Uncle Ben got cancer : free ticket to the after life.

4. Drinking during pregnancy : freedom.

The baby is retarded : get an abortion.

Really?

I always believe that freedom isn’t something that comes and gives you satisfaction. Freedom is something you achieve. For me.

Because addiction is no where near freedom. For me.

The world always tell its people globally about freedom. That everyone is free. I wonder do they even know what freedom is.

You’re old enough to know there are consequences for every action.

But you hate consequences, so you do everything you want to do. You said “Fuck it, I wanna live my life.” And then at the end of the day, you facebooked your problem with an typical update : ” I hate my life and please let me die. “

Dude, you can do whatever you like, but it bothers me so much about the fact that : just because you want to do something and you do it anyway without thinking clearly – that isn’t freedom. For me.

CURRENT TREASURE – GOOD SONGS

I know, guys. I know.

It’s been forever since the last post and I am terribly sorry for abandoning this blog. Now I am on my semester break so I decided to spend a little time making a quick post.

So!

There’s a moment between mid 2011 – early 2012 where I didn’t add a single song to my playlist, because almost every song around this&that time sound alike to me, talking about the same old matter, telling the world the same cliche. And I love good music, so there’s this part in me that got disappointed and around that time I got the hunger of meaningful lyrics, the thirst of catchy melodies ( Hell, this must be the pre-brunch talking).

These are the treasures I’ve downloaded and loved since the time it appeared in my playlist. I hope you guys love it. Give them a chance!

Kimbra – Cameo Lover

Kimbra – Good Intent

Kimbra is a NZ singer who is only 2 years older than me, but this young singer won my heart with her unique-jazzy voice and catchy music.

Jason Mraz – I Won’t Give Up

Some of the beeeeautiful lyrics :

” I won’t give up on us, even if the skies get rough
I’m giving you all my love, I’m still looking up “

Christina Perri – A Thousand Years

You might already know this song. A Thousand Years is popular because it is an ost. in Twilight movie, Breaking Dawn. Crazy lyrics.

Adele – Don’t You Remember

Adele – Turning Tables

One Direction – One Thing

One Direction – Gotta Be You

I’ll update it!

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GIRLS MOST COMMON INSECURITIES

INSECURITIES. Lack of confidence. Eat you alive. Creep you inside. Make you hate people you don’t even know. Take you away from happiness. It’s normal to have insecurities, but they exist not to be fed, but to be fixed!

I know it takes time to love our insecurities, I know it takes time to accept them, but stop making excuses to not fighting them. So many people survive from this mental disorders, so that should happen to you too!

And it’s heart breaking if you’re being insecure because you want yourself as perfect as the celebrities or models in the magazine. Because a little fyi, they’re all photoshopped. Remember our sister Zoeey Deschanel who had a little cat fight on twitter with one of the popular fashion magazine months ago? Yup, that fight. A fight about how her face can change that much, that pretty and that… different ( cough, photoshop ).

Isn’t it too much?

I am not saying that they’re all ( the celebrities and models ) fake. Yes, they’re beautiful. But that skinny body and beautiful face, they got them the hard way. So many of them work out everyday, do a lot of botox and plastic surgery, such a price to pay!

So shut up, pretty. You’re pretty. You don’t have to own a big eyes to be pretty. You don’t have to be a paper thin aka skinny to look pretty. Remember what Bruno Mars said, cos you’re amazing, just the way you are ( only if you’re confident and focus on improving yourself ).

Even celebrities have insecurities as well!

“Learning to not be insecure took some time. I would always see skinny models and think I didn’t fit in, but I realized I can’t change my reality; I can only do what I can to improve my body and work out to stay fit and healthy,” says Kardashian, who admits, “I love the definition I see in my arms!”

Speaking of Kim, you gotta see this.

Kkkrazy.

It’s not only Kim who has insecurities. You can see more in here.

So maybe a lot of you guys are screaming inside, so yeah what the hell? What am I supposed to do after knowing all of this? And how can I change mine or improve them anyway?

PRETTY FACE?

Girls, the power of make up.

SKINNY BODY?

Diet. Gym. Healthy food. I know this is a lifetime struggle to get in the best shape, but it’s not impossible to achieve!

STYLISH

A lot of fashion magazine ( online or not online ) you can read and learn to find your best style, they usually give you the do’s and don’t's for the latest trend, but it’s definitely okay if you got your own style. There are so many fashion blogs too nowadays you can check out my favorite websites.

PERSONALITY

No need to choose who you gotta be, it’s you and always you. So be you! Be a girl with the true personality, true talent and true heart. If it’s not what’s inside that shine, no matter how shiny your appearance is ( this is not cliche ), you won’t shine the good way. INNER BEAUTY LADIES! OR GENTLEMEN!

  And what happens if you think you can change everything ( especially your body ) as ‘perfect’ as you’ve always wanted it to be? What’s crossing your mind right now? Me? Our sister, Heidi Montag. Sorry sis, but it’s you that can teach us this lesson best.

Have a great day everyone!

BE YOU

For this kind of crazy world we’re living today, I’m pretty sure one of the hardest thing to do is to be yourself. Life forces us to be kind to those who we hate the most, push us to be something we don’t even know, creeps us in so many way and somehow, you lost count of how many times people criticize you, reject you, and hurt you.

We somehow don’t know how to act, we’re starting to adapt, tolerate, and accept what people did and do to us. But don’t tolerate too much, don’t accept everything people did or do to us, stand up for yourself, and be you.

For me, be you means : to know exactly what kind of person you are, to know the good sides of yourself and focus on them. If you said, ooh I am a lazy person, ooh I am a hater, ooh I am a clumsy person, for me it’s not you. It’s the bad habits that you should fight and fix it.

Why? Why do we have to be ourself? Because people will respect you ( because you respect yourself in the first place ). It is as simple as that.

Figure what you want, figure your weakness, figure what you like, figure what makes you happy, figure what amuse you, don’t settle for something that is less than you deserve.

There’s these ridiculous opinions about being ourself from some random person I know. They said that if we want to be ourself we can’t be success in the same way like our role models’ successful story. OF COURSE that is fine, to motivate yourself, and learn from someone else’s experience is wise. Some people flatter themselves that they are the most original person in the world.

AND I DO AGREE!

Our lovely sister Heidi Montag teach us an important lesson. She had done so many plastic surgery, maybe because she’s so insecure and compare herself too much to other popular hollywood girls too much. And how she ended up to be? Is she an inspiration? Pretty sure, she’s not.

But this girl is an inspiration. Her name is Dylan Sada. A young multi-talented artist that I found in facebook.

She’s a damn talented photographer ( and she sings too! ) from Indonesia who lives in Brooklyn, NY. Maybe I don’t know her in person, but judging by the photos she uploads, the statuses she writes, she has no time to mind other’s business, she wears crazy clothes or even not wearing anything everytime she feels like it. Really, she helped me to be a stronger person. You may say that I’m exaggerating this, but really, she taught me that it’s okay to be different, to be someone that people might hate, it’s okay to be hated, as long as it cause no harm to other, to be ourself is the most beautiful thing.

I remembered that day, my no-mannered and not polite junior in high school said that I am ” disgusting ” behind my back, in front of my face. I was in a campus tour that day, and me and my friend were so excited and automatically raised our hands when the MC asked who likes Grey’s Anatomy. And that bitch said that we’re disgusting. I am disgusting. And I said loudly to her, ” I am disgusting, so fut the wuck?”

I don’t care. Call me disgusting, call me cheap, call me anything. You have rights to say things about me, and I have right to not give a damn. As long as you’re fine, slaps the haters virtually, but if you’re insulted, slap them physically! JUST KIDDING! lol

Lemme say this again. Stand up for yourself, be you!

Have a splendid day!

xx!

THE FIRST TRY

Hopes are gone and killed

Tears are evaporated from the pore

Roads are filled with silence

And heart screams all the time

Because from now on, fears finally win.

I am trying to find myself

Back to the past, leave all the rest

Crawling in a room of memories

Trapped by the beat of time

Now the tears are falling

Right in front of me

I see a little girl with victory

but all she has now is misery.

No one needs to be wise

Fools live a thousand years longer

Because the fear of living

Are fed by the brain that keeps thinking.

I can’t find the little girl

I choose to go back to reality

But the heart wont stop asking

One tempting emotional offer :

“would you go back there just to see her smile?”